Natal Curry Contest
Jedes Jahr im Juli findet hier in Pietermaritzburg, der Provinzhauptstadt von KwazuluNatal, die Royal Show, eine Leistungsschau der regionalen Wirtschaft und Landwirtschaft statt. Die Show ist eine Art Messe und Jahrmarkt gleichzeitig, mit einem vielfältigen Unterhaltungsangebot, u.a. mit einem Curry-Kochwettbewerb. Das aus Indien stammende Curry-Gericht erfreut sich hier in KwazuluNatal auf Grund der vielen hier lebenden Inder besonderer Beliebtheit und die besten Curry-Köche sind indischer Abstammung.
Als „Curry“ werden Gerichte bezeichnet, bei denen entweder Rind-, Schaf- und Hühnerfleisch, Fisch, Garnelen oder auch Gemüse in einer würzigen Currysauce gegart werden. Alle Curries zeichnen sich durch eine gewisse Schärfe aus, die aber von der Mixtur des Currypulvers abhängt. Zum guten Curry werden Reis, Rotis und Sambals serviert. Rotis sind leicht gesalzene, runde Fladenbrote und Sambals nennt man die Beilagen wie kleingewürfeltern Tomaten-Zwiebel-Mix, Chutney - ein süßer Fruchtgelee, Bananenscheiben und Kokosraspel.
Doch zurück nach Pietermaritzburg zum Natal Curry Contest:
Eine dreiköpfige Jury, testet und bewertet die Curry- Kreationen der diversen Köche und leider ist diesmal einer der Juroren wegen Krankheit ausgefallen. Ein Ersatz musste kurzfristig her und da die Zeit drängte überredete man den zufällig anwesenden und als Küchenkritiker weitgehend unerfahrenen amerikanischen Touristen Frank zur Übernahme eines Jurorenamtes. Aber hören wir von Frank im Original, wie es dazu kam:
„Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Beer Garden, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges ( Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn’t be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.”
Der weitere Verlauf der Veranstaltung lässt sich nun an Hand der Originalnotizen auf den Wertungskarten gut nachvollziehen:
CURRY 1- SEELAN’S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY
Judge 1 :
A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge 2.
Nice smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge 3 (Frank):
Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These people are crazy.
CURRY 2 – PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY
Judge 1:
Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chilli tang.
Judge 2:
Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge 3:
Keep this out of the reach of children! I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver! They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look in my face.
( Das Heimlich Manöver, benannt nach dem amerkanischen Arzt Henry Heimlich ist eine in Amerika sehr bekannte 1.Hilfe-Massnahme zur Rettung vor dem Erstickungstod)
CURRY 3 – SHAMILA’S FAMOUS “BURN DOWN THE GARAGE” CURRY
Judge 1:
Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge 2:
A bit salty, good use of chilli peppers.
Judge 3:
Call 911. I’ve located a uranium pill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting pissed from all that beer.
CURRY 4 – BABOO’S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY
Judge 1:
Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge 2:
Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge 3:
felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200 kg woman starting to look HOT… just like the nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chilli an aphrodisiac?
CURRY 5 – LALL’S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge 1:
Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerably Kick. Very impressive.
Judge 2:
Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the chilli peppers make a strong statement.
Judge 3:
My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her curry had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I’m wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really pissed me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them!
CURRY 6 – VERISNEE’S VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge 1:
Thin yet bold vegetarian curry. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge 2:
The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic. Superb.
Judge 3:
My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I am definitely going to shit myself if I fart and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Shareen. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my arse
with a snow cone ice-cream.
CURRY 7 – SELINA’S “MOTHER-IN-LAW-TONGUE” CURRY
Judge 1:
A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge 2:
Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chilli at the last moment.
( I should take note at this stage that I am worried about Frank. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge 3:
You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing – it’s too painful. Screw it; I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CURRY 8 – NAIDOO’S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY
Judge 1:
The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not to bold but spicy enough
to declare its existence.
Judge 2:
This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Frank farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot curry?
Judge 3:
No Report
(Thanks Diane)
Als „Curry“ werden Gerichte bezeichnet, bei denen entweder Rind-, Schaf- und Hühnerfleisch, Fisch, Garnelen oder auch Gemüse in einer würzigen Currysauce gegart werden. Alle Curries zeichnen sich durch eine gewisse Schärfe aus, die aber von der Mixtur des Currypulvers abhängt. Zum guten Curry werden Reis, Rotis und Sambals serviert. Rotis sind leicht gesalzene, runde Fladenbrote und Sambals nennt man die Beilagen wie kleingewürfeltern Tomaten-Zwiebel-Mix, Chutney - ein süßer Fruchtgelee, Bananenscheiben und Kokosraspel.
Doch zurück nach Pietermaritzburg zum Natal Curry Contest:
Eine dreiköpfige Jury, testet und bewertet die Curry- Kreationen der diversen Köche und leider ist diesmal einer der Juroren wegen Krankheit ausgefallen. Ein Ersatz musste kurzfristig her und da die Zeit drängte überredete man den zufällig anwesenden und als Küchenkritiker weitgehend unerfahrenen amerikanischen Touristen Frank zur Übernahme eines Jurorenamtes. Aber hören wir von Frank im Original, wie es dazu kam:
„Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Beer Garden, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges ( Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn’t be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.”
Der weitere Verlauf der Veranstaltung lässt sich nun an Hand der Originalnotizen auf den Wertungskarten gut nachvollziehen:
CURRY 1- SEELAN’S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY
Judge 1 :
A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge 2.
Nice smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge 3 (Frank):
Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These people are crazy.
CURRY 2 – PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY
Judge 1:
Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chilli tang.
Judge 2:
Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge 3:
Keep this out of the reach of children! I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver! They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look in my face.
( Das Heimlich Manöver, benannt nach dem amerkanischen Arzt Henry Heimlich ist eine in Amerika sehr bekannte 1.Hilfe-Massnahme zur Rettung vor dem Erstickungstod)
CURRY 3 – SHAMILA’S FAMOUS “BURN DOWN THE GARAGE” CURRY
Judge 1:
Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge 2:
A bit salty, good use of chilli peppers.
Judge 3:
Call 911. I’ve located a uranium pill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting pissed from all that beer.
CURRY 4 – BABOO’S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY
Judge 1:
Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge 2:
Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge 3:
felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200 kg woman starting to look HOT… just like the nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chilli an aphrodisiac?
CURRY 5 – LALL’S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge 1:
Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerably Kick. Very impressive.
Judge 2:
Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the chilli peppers make a strong statement.
Judge 3:
My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her curry had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I’m wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really pissed me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them!
CURRY 6 – VERISNEE’S VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge 1:
Thin yet bold vegetarian curry. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge 2:
The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic. Superb.
Judge 3:
My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I am definitely going to shit myself if I fart and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Shareen. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my arse
with a snow cone ice-cream.
CURRY 7 – SELINA’S “MOTHER-IN-LAW-TONGUE” CURRY
Judge 1:
A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge 2:
Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chilli at the last moment.
( I should take note at this stage that I am worried about Frank. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge 3:
You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing – it’s too painful. Screw it; I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CURRY 8 – NAIDOO’S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY
Judge 1:
The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not to bold but spicy enough
to declare its existence.
Judge 2:
This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Frank farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot curry?
Judge 3:
No Report
(Thanks Diane)
blackconti - 17. Nov, 22:54
